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For me to find a way out the mundane doldrums I get to now call living. Thirteen years of marriage and I am almost afraid to move from the spot I lay in because it may wake her up, and I don’t feel like dealing with her. Her anger, her snapping at me for not sorting the clothes properly and other shit I don’t give two fucks about, but mostly how cold she is towards me. I roll over slowly and face her sleeping form. Her lean shoulder is peeking out from under the blanket, along with one foot. I smiled. She was still beautiful. Alexa still has the same small nose and dark blond hair. Lashes are still long as they lay across her sleeping cheeks, above her pink turns up lips. As peaceful as she is, I still want to take one of the pillows separating us to suffocate her and her whistle. I won’t, but holy shit, it seems my life would be easier, just a little more peaceful during the holiday season without her. Wake up Christmas morning in the middle of the king size bed and jerk off to. You go and have some fun and tell me all about it tomorrow, ok?” My daughter replied. “Ok, brat. There probably won’t be much to tell. You know the way I am.” I typed as I let out a sigh. “Don’t worry about that, pop. Just go and be yourself. Gram wants to use the line to make a phone call, so I’ll talk to you later.” She wrote. She managed to log off the messenger before I could reply to her. It’s hard for me to be myself when I go out for a couple of reason. I rarely go anywhere except to work or shopping. If I do go out, it’s usually one of two local places that are here in town. Both are rather small and can get pretty crowded on a Friday night. The other reason I don’t go out a lot is even simpler. I’m almost deaf. I suffer from something the doctor called Autoimmune Ear Disease. It’s not contagious, and it’s not passed down from your parents. I would have rather lost my hearing at an Aerosmith concert than the way I did. This disease just takes your hearing away quicker than.
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